Are you a closet Success?

Do you ever wonder if you will ever truly feel “successful?”

Do you often feel embarrassed by your cash flow or lack thereof when everyone else seems to have plenty of money? 

Do you connect lack of cash with lack of success, even though you might have raised healthy kids, run several businesses or written a play?

 

Over this last week and many cups of coffee I have had the opportunity to talk with people I consider to be very successful, each in their own right. One thing that many seem to have in common is that they are so busy trying to match income with outgoings or pay bills that they dont consider themselves to be at all the powerful, inspiring, talented people that they are.

None, myself included, are driving new cars. None have an abundance of “back up” money. All have set up their own  business, many are running them alongside a regular job and ALL OF THEM HAVE MADE A DIFFERENCE TO THE PEOPLE AROUND THEM FOR THE BETTER!

Think about that for a minute…..

People who strive to make something new, create a new business, develop a complimentary  business or manage to hold down a job and rear a family or look after a relative and yet still contribute to the community are very often the people who affect change.

They are the people who inspire us to take a chance, who motivate us to put ourselves forward, or who create a space, a shop, a cafe, a painting or a story that inspires us to give something a go. They are the people who say to us BY THEIR ACTIONS AND COURAGE, “go on, If I can do it so can you!”

To make or build or create you have to invest therefore you have to be super creative with money and decide to go without in order to make your dream or goal a reality.

A new car or a year’s rent on a premises?

A holiday abroad or a professional qualification? 

A loan for an extension to your kitchen or IVF treatment?

Beans for a month so you can print your business cards?

Think about this……..

 

I dont know anyone that started a business with a million euro in the bank. 

I dont know anyone who reared a child with a professional qualification in “how to rear your own child” before they started.

I dont know anyone who wasn’t nervous starting something new.

But I know plenty of inspiring women and men who are working away creating and building something that didn’t exist before they created it, yet problems with the clutch on the car or the fridge clapping out can be centre stage in terms of stress and energy, and in being so, can totally obliterate the amazing success they have achieved …..         ALONGSIDE THEIR STRUGGLES! 

Challenges with cash flow, tiredness, accounts, leaky windows, motor problems, relationship problems are all part and parcel of the struggle of building something extra into your life.

If you could go back in time and not have the children, not open the shop, not do the course, not build your business because someone told you that for a lot of the time you would have to be a financial contortionist, would stay in your former life???? 

Or would you acknowledge that there will be times when you are knackered, broke, fed up and pissed off, but there will also be times when you will make customers, clients, children and readers very very happy by what you do?

And THAT is what will keep you going.

That is the real treasure.

That is what you will remember. 

If you can manage to rear a child and still like them when they get older (easy to love them, liking them is a bit more of a challenge), if you can build a business and still enjoy the product you create, and if you can hold on to a job that wrecks your head but pays the bills so you can be the real person on the inside, then that, to me is 100% success!!! .

In short, would you feel the fear and say “feck it” I will do it anyway? 

I sincerely hope you would, because people who have an idea and a will to make it happen, leave the world a better place than when they left it, no matter what type of vehicle they drive 🙂 🙂 🙂

So how about this week you think about what you have achieved, and give it as much attention as you give the struggles? 

Ask those around you what they are proud of, what did they achieve?

What they were successful in? 

Think about who you consider successful and see what you have in common….you may be surprised at what you find!

Sometimes it takes someone else to ask you what makes you successful for you to acknowledge that you are…successful..and inspiring and all the things you forget about when you are short of a euro at the checkout.

 

alol

and sometimes it helps to have an imagination 🙂 🙂 🙂

 

Elvis, Van Gogh and Stephen King – When is rejection affirmation?

Today I got one and half rejections for writing. One from a prestigious writing competition that said thanks but no…the other from a magazine that said they would get back to me in the autumn re a series of articles.  So why does this not feel like the end of the world or my budding writing career at the very least?

Because as the venerable Stephen King wrote in his book “On Writing“…..only writers get rejections and he put a large nail in the wall and pinned the first of many rejection slips (in the days before email) on it. He saw this as a sign that he was a writer and rejection, like auditions are part and parcel of the working life of a writer. King’s most renowned and first book, Carrie, was rejected thirty times. King decided to forget the book, which his wife retrieved from the bin  and convinced him to re-submit it. Otherwise we would never have the bejaysus scared out of us by Jack Nicholson in The Shining  or bit our fingernails to the quick watching Carrie.

After a performance at Nashville’s Grand Ole Opry, Elvis was told by the concert hall manager at the time that he would be  better off returning to Memphis and driving trucks.

During his lifetime Vincent Van Gogh received hardly any acclaim for his art and only sold one  painting to a friend for a very small amount of money. Nevertheless, he continued painting  throughout his life, and now his paintings sell for millions of dollars throughout the world.

Since I started facilitating The Artist’s Way, its is impossible not to be inspired by the creativity of the participants, and of course, there is no point in asking people to be creative if I dont practice what I preach. So I have been submitting poems, stories, articles ideas over the last year like I used to before life/work/being busy got in the way. The thrill is in the finishing, editing, submitting, finding a mistake you missed (oh yes!) AFTER you sent something in, and then moving on to the next thing, whatever that is. Some have been published, some have not.

The funny thing is, the more I write and submit, the more work I seem to attract.

I never claim to understand quantum physics but there is something about doing the thing you love and attracting positive outcomes in other places.  I bought a book one time called “Do what you love and the money will follow”.

To be honest, I never read it. But I love the idea. I still do. I never bought a book that said If you get rejected that means you are rubbish”  I definitely wouldn’t read that! 🙂 But I know that the more you submit your work/art/ideas the more resilient you become to rejection.

We are conditioned, courtesy of the Man from Delmonte and The Bank that likes to say “Yes” to believe that a Yes is always a good thing and a No is always bad.

But is a Yes to a mortgage around our necks till we are too old to do any of the things we could have done if we were not saddled with the crippling interest rates in the first place always a good thing? 

Is “No” always a judgement and rejection? 

If Stephen King, and Elvis, and Vincent Van Gogh had listened to the “No” they heard from people they submitted their work to, look what the world would have missed out on? It is entirely plausible that they considered “NO” to be the opinion of one person, and not the sum or judgement of their work. So they kept on making, writing, painting and making art. And we all have the benefit.

So what would you do if you were not afraid of “NO”? 

What would you make or show to the world if you were aware that some people won’t like it? 

What have you put off doing because you are afraid of rejection? 

What could you do this week knowing that the sky won’t fall if you get a NO? 

People like Thomas Eddison, Madonna, the man who invented the Rubix Cube all heard many rejections before they met someone who liked and appreciated what they did. Chances are your favourite film star, pop star, author didn’t start out with a plethora of “Yes’s”, but they did it anyway……..

So can you.